Back when my husband (aka Daddy Bear) and I were dating, we talked about having more kids.  He knew that I wanted to be a wife, and mom to lots of littles.  He was and is very supportive of this.

However, it can be hard for kids to welcome a new sibling…especially in a joint family.  We would never want our girls to feel replaced or less loved.

So, we made a point to talk frequently and openly about adding to our family.  We’d talk about what it might be like for our girls to have a little sibling.  Our girls would tell us their thoughts, and we’d listen.  The girls’ opinions would change based on their moods. 

• “I would love a little brother, but not a little sister.”
• “No, I don’t want a baby.”
• “Boys are weird, please have a girl.”

When I found out I was pregnant, Daddy Bear and I talked about how to tell the girls.  I was very nervous about having a miscarriage, so we agreed to wait until after the first ultrasound to announce my pregnancy.

Then, right after our baby reveal, we talked as a family and made sure the girls knew they could still express their thoughts. Bellie Bear was very excited, but Care Bear seemed overwhelmed.  My husband and I did our best to reassure them that our love for them wouldn’t change, and things would be okay.

“Love doesn’t divide, only multiplies.”

To make things a tiny bit easier, I put together a “big sister bundle” which I think the girls appreciated.  This is what I included:

• Big Sister signs (used during the baby reveal)
• Books – Little Big Girl and How to Be a Baby
• Activity books – Big Sister Activity Book and Welcome to the Family

My husband and I continued to talk with the girls throughout my pregnancy.   We listed the fun ways they could help with the baby…feeding, bathing, dressing, pushing the stroller, etc. 

I also started to refer to the baby as “our baby,” and reminded the girls we are a team and would work together.  This really struck a chord with Care Bear because she started to correct me anytime I called the baby “mine.”  Haha.

For most of my pregnancy Bellie Bear was just pure excitement.  She would come running up to me, and hug and kiss my belly.  However, Care Bear continued to be a bit more hesitant.  Then interestingly, about month eight of my pregnancy, the girls switched outlooks.  Bellie Bear seemed less excited and Care Bear started talking and singing to my belly everyday. 

As a stepmom, it was sometimes hard not to feel worried when the girls acted unsure or hesitant about the baby.  Even though I knew their feelings were totally normal…I just didn’t want them to think I loved baby more.  However, Daddy Bear and I just kept at it…giving them space to feel, and lots of reassurance.